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60
testimony entries
A lost little girl
02 October 2007 16:37 | Ashley Zachmann
i was raised in an atheist family, taught the Big bang Theory, And evolution. Most of my life I spent feeling alone, and lost, not knowing there was someone out there watching over me all along.
I was 12 years old when I started running away from home, doing drugs, and sleeping around. I hurt the ones I love for years, in and out of drug rehabs and mental institutes, jail as an adult. I sold my body for money and for drugs, not caring about myself. I was raped and beaten, broken down, but every time I came out alive, not giving Glory to God, the one who saved me.
Looking back now, i see, why i survived, why I am here. It wasn't luck, it wasn't coincidence. It was a God-incedent. I had a child when i was 15 years old, I named him Zachariah. That name came to me, not knowing who Zachariah was in the bible. still an unbeliever I lived with a man who was also an unbeliever. we both drank and used drugs, and neglected my beautiful son, Zachariah.
I allowed people to use me, and i used people. I drank and I drugged and I slept around, with no regard for myself or my future. i was so alone, so sad, so lost and so confused. i was full of anger, anger i took out on people who didn't deserve it. I didnt know how to forgive.
When i was 19 I checked myself into a drug rehab after doing so much coke I hit the floor 3 times, going unconcious. Once in detox, they ran some tests and told me my heart had stopped 3 times. I was blown away. I had Od'd and didnt even realize it. It was christmas eve of 2006, my son and my mother came to visit me. and when they left, i was ready to leave and go to a bar, or a crack house.
but something compelled me to go downstairs to the chapel. No one was in the chapel, so i just stood there looking in at the cross at the altar. when i got upstairs, I got on my knees and prayed for the first time in life.
You see, even when I was close to death in the past, I never called out to the Lord, I didnt believe he was there. So i got on my knees and I prayed, Lord i hope you are there, because I am sick and tired of being alone!
I went to sleep that night still doubting, still an unbeliever. but i had a dream....I was in a dark room and all I could see was jesus's cross and this beautiful soothing voice of a man said "silly child, who do you think picked you up off the floor" and i woke, covered in chills, a believer!!!
the Lord has worked miracles in my life. I wish i could say, i turned my life around right then, but I didnt. i tried so hard, I got into a halfway house, and I attended church, I met a wonderful man who too was a christian, but the devil came at me with a vengance. I went back out to the drugs for a few weeks and landed myself in jail.
I did 6 months in jail, but they were the best 6 months of my life. I learned so much about the Lord, and his love for me, his forgiveness. I learned to love unconditionally, and to forgive others for their traspasses. Truly forgive them, in my heart. Not just say it to them, but to feel it inside. I spent 40 days and 40 nights in a one man cell, and that was All God's work. 40 days spent by myself, with no one but the Lord to pull me through. i came out of that cell a different woman. I was no longer that lost lonely 12 year old girl who ranaway to the Bronx, I was a woman. A woman of God. A soldier for Him!!!
It's about God. Knowing that he has my back. No matter where I go, there I am, and there He is. He will always love me, and he will always be there for me to call out to when I feel alone. Everything I have ever been through, has had a purpose behind it.
I am strong. It took 20 years, but today I love myself, I respect myself, my body, my mind, my soul. I respect others. I cherish my family, my son, my friends. I cherish God. I praise God for what he has done in my life.
Upon release, I was so scared going back home to a house of unbelievers. But my sister, my baby sister who is my best friend, has come to know the Lord. She sees the change in me, and she has come to believe. She knows he has a calling for her, and though sometimes she tries to run from it, she knows it's always there. and you cant run from the Lord but so long.
Thank you God, for changing this sinner, into a believer. For showing me what life is really about. Feelings...It’s nice to finally feel.
It took going to jail for 6 months to learn what life is all about, what my purpose is, and that my future was allready written. Written by God and waiting for me to just grab on and hold tight for the ride.
But God broke me down, he broke me down so he could build me back up. And I thank him for it everday of my life. I lost my granny while in that cell. In a cell far from home, with no one to comfort me or console me. While my family was together consoling each other I was alone. In my own misery. I screamed out to God and he got me through.
I have learned that life isn't about hate, or envy, it isn't about running, or using, or sleeping around. It isn't about making that almighty dollar. It is about Love, and faith, peace, and serenity.
I dont know what God's plan is for me quite yet, but I know he has something big in store for me. He is preparing me for battle, and I will win. I am a soldier for him.
I was 12 years old when I started running away from home, doing drugs, and sleeping around. I hurt the ones I love for years, in and out of drug rehabs and mental institutes, jail as an adult. I sold my body for money and for drugs, not caring about myself. I was raped and beaten, broken down, but every time I came out alive, not giving Glory to God, the one who saved me.
Looking back now, i see, why i survived, why I am here. It wasn't luck, it wasn't coincidence. It was a God-incedent. I had a child when i was 15 years old, I named him Zachariah. That name came to me, not knowing who Zachariah was in the bible. still an unbeliever I lived with a man who was also an unbeliever. we both drank and used drugs, and neglected my beautiful son, Zachariah.
I allowed people to use me, and i used people. I drank and I drugged and I slept around, with no regard for myself or my future. i was so alone, so sad, so lost and so confused. i was full of anger, anger i took out on people who didn't deserve it. I didnt know how to forgive.
When i was 19 I checked myself into a drug rehab after doing so much coke I hit the floor 3 times, going unconcious. Once in detox, they ran some tests and told me my heart had stopped 3 times. I was blown away. I had Od'd and didnt even realize it. It was christmas eve of 2006, my son and my mother came to visit me. and when they left, i was ready to leave and go to a bar, or a crack house.
but something compelled me to go downstairs to the chapel. No one was in the chapel, so i just stood there looking in at the cross at the altar. when i got upstairs, I got on my knees and prayed for the first time in life.
You see, even when I was close to death in the past, I never called out to the Lord, I didnt believe he was there. So i got on my knees and I prayed, Lord i hope you are there, because I am sick and tired of being alone!
I went to sleep that night still doubting, still an unbeliever. but i had a dream....I was in a dark room and all I could see was jesus's cross and this beautiful soothing voice of a man said "silly child, who do you think picked you up off the floor" and i woke, covered in chills, a believer!!!
the Lord has worked miracles in my life. I wish i could say, i turned my life around right then, but I didnt. i tried so hard, I got into a halfway house, and I attended church, I met a wonderful man who too was a christian, but the devil came at me with a vengance. I went back out to the drugs for a few weeks and landed myself in jail.
I did 6 months in jail, but they were the best 6 months of my life. I learned so much about the Lord, and his love for me, his forgiveness. I learned to love unconditionally, and to forgive others for their traspasses. Truly forgive them, in my heart. Not just say it to them, but to feel it inside. I spent 40 days and 40 nights in a one man cell, and that was All God's work. 40 days spent by myself, with no one but the Lord to pull me through. i came out of that cell a different woman. I was no longer that lost lonely 12 year old girl who ranaway to the Bronx, I was a woman. A woman of God. A soldier for Him!!!
It's about God. Knowing that he has my back. No matter where I go, there I am, and there He is. He will always love me, and he will always be there for me to call out to when I feel alone. Everything I have ever been through, has had a purpose behind it.
I am strong. It took 20 years, but today I love myself, I respect myself, my body, my mind, my soul. I respect others. I cherish my family, my son, my friends. I cherish God. I praise God for what he has done in my life.
Upon release, I was so scared going back home to a house of unbelievers. But my sister, my baby sister who is my best friend, has come to know the Lord. She sees the change in me, and she has come to believe. She knows he has a calling for her, and though sometimes she tries to run from it, she knows it's always there. and you cant run from the Lord but so long.
Thank you God, for changing this sinner, into a believer. For showing me what life is really about. Feelings...It’s nice to finally feel.
It took going to jail for 6 months to learn what life is all about, what my purpose is, and that my future was allready written. Written by God and waiting for me to just grab on and hold tight for the ride.
But God broke me down, he broke me down so he could build me back up. And I thank him for it everday of my life. I lost my granny while in that cell. In a cell far from home, with no one to comfort me or console me. While my family was together consoling each other I was alone. In my own misery. I screamed out to God and he got me through.
I have learned that life isn't about hate, or envy, it isn't about running, or using, or sleeping around. It isn't about making that almighty dollar. It is about Love, and faith, peace, and serenity.
I dont know what God's plan is for me quite yet, but I know he has something big in store for me. He is preparing me for battle, and I will win. I am a soldier for him.
Daughter Comes Home
25 September 2007 23:20 | Anonymous
I spoke with a lady from Tennessee today. She had left a desperate message earlier in the day wanting help for her daughter who has been on the streets in Brownsville. The mom was actually concerned for her daughter's safety. The daughter is an adult and has been in correctional facilities all of her life, beginning in her teens. The mom had talked of Brownsville Assembly of God to her daughter in years past. The daughter called her mom about two weeks ago and told her she was near "that church you talked about." She told her mom about the prayer walks and about the bar-b-que that was coming up and said she hoped to attend. When I called the mom back this afternoon, the Lord had already intervened. The daughter called her mom and said she wanted to come home and the mom is sending her a bus ticket home. The mom already knew about the prayer walks and said to tell the pastor fruit is already coming in.
Great Things Happeni
03 September 2007 01:06 | Drew Jenkins
I have been attending Brownsville for 7 years now and I tell you God is really up to something in our church. I have been through revival and after Pastor Feldshau left I was almost tempted to leave the church, but for some reason God wouldn't release me to leave yet. Service has gotten better and better and the prescence of God is still in the house! I work at McDonald's and I have invited so many people to church and they have enjoyed the services so much they are inviting people they know and telling them what a great church Brownsville is! Brownsville we still got it going on! God is still in the house, doing a new thing!!!! Praise God for his new direction for our church!
experience = life ch
02 September 2007 11:18 | Stacy
Knowing that I had been called to go to a church and be involved in the ministry and to learn and absorb, to soak in all that God had for me was why I went to Brownsville AG. I left Scotland and spent over 4 years at this church were God broke me and put me back together many times, blessing me and changing me more to be like Him. Is this not what our Christian life is about? dying daily and becoming more like Jesus! It was truly some of the best years of my life. Being able to sit under the teaching of the Holy Spirit and under the great men of God that were being used. Thank you Jesus!
Feeling Loved
20 July 2007 23:00 | Anonymous
One thing that God did for me that is a really really big deal for me is feeling loved by my father. I never tells me he loves me unless I tell him that first, and then he will reply back to me after that. And he never gives me a hug. But the first night Pat was just telling us to let God wrap his arms around us and allow him to love on us. And I remember sitting there crying and thinking that I just wanted hear my father tell me that he loves, cares and that he is proud of me. And it was like I could literally feel God wrap His arms around me and tell me that He loves me and cares for me and is so proud of me. And He told me everything was going to be okay! I haven't felt that secure and free in such a long time, sometimes I feel like I haven't ever felt like that.But it was INCREDIBLE this year!! I can't wait till next years BBF!!!!
60
testimony entries
